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Archive for the ‘Crazy Culture’ Category

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It’s Time for My Endorsement Deal

By EliKen on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012 | No Comments

Tiger Woods is the first athlete in history to bank $100 million in a year. That’s a lot of balls. The astrological sum is thanks in part to a raise he finagled out of long-time endorser Nike. The deal is this: Nike gives Tiger up to $100 million to promote its products for a further [...]

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Man Rents Closet, Woman Lives in One Undetected

By EliKen on Monday, February 20th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the spacious but not cavernous offices of The Curmudgeon, we are amazed at what people will pay and go through to find someplace to live. The most recent example of closet camping comes from Delray Beach, Florida, where Sergio Santos rents a closet to live in – like an apartment – for $150 [...]

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Man Shoots At Mouse—Hits Roommate in Chest—Third Roommate Arrested For Rape

By Crusty on Monday, February 20th, 2012 | 4 Comments

  Here in The Crusty Curmudgeon Office of Media Studies, we know a good headline when we see one, but never have we seen one as tempting, as baffling, as curiosity-stoking as the one above. “What in the world?” we wondered, and off we went to read the story, salivating like a dog going after [...]

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Black-Eyed Peas, Good Luck, and Then You Die

By EliKen on Sunday, February 19th, 2012 | No Comments

    It’s quiet here in the empty but not tenebrific offices of the Curmudgeon, as I have generously given the staff the first day of the New Year off. I’ll be heading to the homestead soon to prepare the traditional New Years good-luck food, black-eyed peas. I mentioned this while on the phone to [...]

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Hilton’s Brawl With Love Rival: Snack Attack!

By EliKen on Friday, February 17th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the titillated but not aroused offices of The Curmudgeon, we enjoy seeing two women together in “that” way but not in a cat fight. I don’t know why this appeals to so many men. The cat fights, I mean, but I don’t know why the other thing turns men on either. I read [...]

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Stop the Presses! Editor Punches Writer in the Kisser

By EliKen on Wednesday, February 15th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the editorial offices of The Curmudgeon, I have sometimes been know to rant and rave about poor writing executed by a member of the staff. Not too much, but sometimes. Never mind that I am guilty of my own share of mistakes and crappy writing, but I’m the boss. When they become the [...]

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Student Seeks a Personal Assistant: You Need One Too!

By EliKen on Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the efficient offices of The Curmudgeon, we get things done. Me, being the boss man—the guy on whom all things depend—have more to do than most people. Well, I do everything actually, but I do sometimes have difficulty finding the time to do the little things required for living in this world, like [...]

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Episcopalians to Offer Mass for Dogs

By EliKen on Monday, February 13th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the dog lovin’ offices of The Curmudgeon, writing about dogs is not uncommon. We’ve written about hero dogs, abused dogs, well, lots of stuff about man’s best friend. So we were tummy-tickled when the following news item came over the wire: In Danvers, Mass, Calvary Episcopal Church will begin offering a mass for [...]

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Oscar Mayer Wienermobile Crashes Into Home

By EliKen on Sunday, February 12th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the Curmudgeon offices we appreciate a good wiener. I generally have them grilled nowadays, but I’ll always have an empty spot in my stomach for a New York City Street Dog with kraut on a steamed bun. Mmm…now that’s fine dining, and there’s nothing more American than a delicious juicy hot dog. Perhaps [...]

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Facebook Felon Runs Criminal Empire From Prison

By EliKen on Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 | No Comments

Photo by pavelm on flickr. Adapted by Christopher Reilly Here in the open offices of The Curmudgeon, employees are free to go and come at their convenience, though I’m sure they feel incarcerated due to my strict adherence to deadlines. I don’t know what they have to complain about. Even when they are locked in [...]

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