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Posts Tagged ‘news of the weird’

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Man Rents Closet, Woman Lives in One Undetected

By EliKen on Monday, February 20th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the spacious but not cavernous offices of The Curmudgeon, we are amazed at what people will pay and go through to find someplace to live. The most recent example of closet camping comes from Delray Beach, Florida, where Sergio Santos rents a closet to live in – like an apartment – for $150 [...]

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Frying Rat on a Hot Tin Roof: Animal Cruelty Laws Run Amuk

By EliKen on Sunday, February 19th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, we are animal friendly but we’re not exactly PETA. Oh, we have gone to bat for animals, as witnessed in our post Woman Tapes Dog to Fridge: Which One’s the Bitch?, but sometimes this “political correctness” thing stretches the limits of our activism and even our comprehension. Witness [...]

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PETA Wants Amityville House of Meat-Eating Horror

By EliKen on Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the impetuous offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, we are often shooting off of figurative mouths about the latest PETA absurdity, with this caveat: we are pro-animal rights. I do not want any more forests to be taken for wood, or the rainforest clear-cut so someone can try to grow potatoes, or any species [...]

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Episcopalians to Offer Mass for Dogs

By EliKen on Monday, February 13th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the dog lovin’ offices of The Curmudgeon, writing about dogs is not uncommon. We’ve written about hero dogs, abused dogs, well, lots of stuff about man’s best friend. So we were tummy-tickled when the following news item came over the wire: In Danvers, Mass, Calvary Episcopal Church will begin offering a mass for [...]

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Playboy Playmate Tiffany Livingston Detained Trying to Escape From Plane

By EliKen on Friday, January 27th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, many of us have to endure hours of air travel across the globe as we rush off to cover presidential inaugurations and Kings being sceptered (or whatever the hell they call that when they do this thing and say, “Okay…Now you be da King!” As far as [...]

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Woman Punched in Kisser Over High Asparagus Price

By EliKen on Thursday, January 26th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in vegetable-loving but not vegetarian offices of The Curmudgeon, we’re amazed over the news that a motorist in Germany punched a 24 year-old female vegetable seller in the kisser over her high-priced asparagus. Or maybe it’s not that surprising, this being Germany we’re talking about. Ya voll, der Mutterland luv der asparagus. According to [...]

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Stupid Kid Electrocutes Own Nipples, Sues School

By EliKen on Saturday, January 21st, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, the big boss (that’s me) doesn’t tolerate lawsuits against Crusty Curmudgeon Enterprises, hereinafter referred to as The Company. As an example, when an employee stormed into my office claiming his stapler was faulty, which caused a puncture wound to the alleged victim, hereinafter referred to as “azzole,” and [...]

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Man Has Garage Sale But It’s Not His Garage

By EliKen on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the bargain-hunting offices of The Curmudgeon, we are fond of getting a good deal whether it’s at a Flea Market, Consignment shop, Goodwill, or Garage Sale. Anywhere really, as long as it’s a great item and the price is right. One such sale occurred recently where the prices were more than right. They [...]

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Car Thieves Call 911 On Themselves

By EliKen on Monday, January 16th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the expensively-adorned, thief-worthy offices of The Curmudgeon, we are no strangers to boneheaded burglary attempts. There was the “Spongebob incident,” where a man posing as a singing telegram attempted to smuggle several large paintings out stuffed under his shirt while he sang, “I Shot the Sherrif.” He looked like Spongebob. But this one [...]

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U.K. Teaches Clumsy Girls to Walk in High-heels

By EliKen on Friday, January 13th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the highly fashionable offices of The Curmudgeon, we have an open dress policy. Not just casual Fridays, but casual everyday of the week if you feel like it, or dress up big time if that floats your boat. Without exception, the ladies wear comfortable shoes, some even wearing tennis shoes, which is what [...]

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